How to Tie a Sari

Or do it my way:

Step One:
Put on your petticoats.  You can do that yourself, though it is a bit of a challenge.  Saris come with a blouse piece, to be custom made.  But for lack of time,  I bought a pre-made blouse.  The ladies at the store thought I'd be a size 28, which felt tight.  Awfully tight.  I'm in the store, forcing the thing closed and I say, "I think this is too tight."
"Right size, madam."
"Uuuugh, fine."
But yes, you can do the petticoats on your own.

Step One and a Half:
Wrap the rest of the sari around yourself like a towel. Go outside and see if your neighborlady is home.  Since she's not, go to school and look for help there.

to find out why I'm a sweaty mess in this picture, read step four

Step Three:
Find someone who has 15 or so minutes to wrap you up like a sweaty-ass sausage.  At one point, I had three women working on my sari.  

Step Four:
Immediately, or as soon as possible (which, unfortunately for me wasn't until 4pm) rip your sari off and put on something more comfortable.  Little did I know going into this thing that saris are like straight jackets.  HOT, so hot, heavy, itchy, and impossible to move around in.  I have nothing but admiration for women who wear these all day, every day.  Don't know how they do it.    

And that's how you tie a sari.