thieves

On the looooooooooooong bus ride from Placencia to the Guatemalan border someone went through our bags and stole:
my green bikini bottoms, left the top
Brad's deodorant
an electric razor
one of my hiking boots, one hiking boot!

So now I have this to say:
Dear thief,
I am hoping you are a person with one leg and a just a butt, because that's the only way your thieving would make any sense. But I didn't see anyone with one leg and just a butt get on the bus, so I know, know! that you are the rottenest, stupidest person on Earth.
Signed,
Sarah